And though I'd like to be able to say something like, "where did the time go?" or "how did that happen?"; the truth is that I've been very aware of not posting. Time didn't slip away. I didn't forget. It wasn't that I had nothing to say.
It's simple really. The more that I learn that someone is actually reading my blog, the more anxious I become in writing. To quote a sweet friend: In writing my thoughts here, I often feel as if I'm "standing in front of you wearing only my underwear". Shiver.
I've spent many years on the surface but, of late (the last couple of years really), God has me going deeper and deeper and I love and praise Him for that but, at the same time, I am not secure enough in myself to hash them out publicly.
Sure...my blog could be about "surface" events. It could be just a decorating blog or just a blog about my kids or, for pete's sake, what I ate for lunch. But that's not where I am and so, my blog, it has some catching up to do. It's having an identity crisis of sorts.
In the meantime, my kids are awesome. They amaze me each day as I've come to realize that they are young men. I'm thankful to be their Mom. They're as individual as they can be and I love that about them.
And, my husband, he's amazing too! He's back in school...getting his MBA at Vanderbilt. I'm very proud of him.
I'm ready to drag out the Fall decor for my home....I love Fall ! (Is that surface enough for you?)
And my Savior? Well, He's something else. I just began the study of Esther and these are some things that have spoken to me:
- There is as much to learn about God by where He does not make himself obvious as when He does. Just because you don't see Him, doesn't mean He's not there.
- You seek HIM and his will will find you.
- We must learn to trust His providence even when the Red Sea doesn't part.
- And....just in case you're thinking that He would choose (and use) anyone but you, see Esther.